And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize