He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
