i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
