I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
