I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize