when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize