I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Come on in and take your pants off
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