One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
