i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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