There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
