i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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