I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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