you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
