This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
