Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
