where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
