Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
