Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
