I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
