She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
