If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
