just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
this will be a night to untag.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
