Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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