I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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