I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
