how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
