So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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