Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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