i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
