I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
