community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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