And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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