Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
