I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
