My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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