Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
