I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
