He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize