I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
porn star boner night. come get it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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