Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
