First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
