I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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