Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
