Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
