i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
