I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
