I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
