i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
