party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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