I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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