The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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