You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
