He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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