just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
