I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
