I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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