3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize