I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I deserve this hangover.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
