i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
