I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
