I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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